A KIWI DRUG DEALER'S LIFE OF LUXURY CAME TO AN END WHEN CURRY POLICE FOUND HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND IN A VAT OF RARE GOAT VINDALOO IN HIS CALIFORNIA HOTEL ROOM.

"IT'S DISGUSTING" SAYS RAJ PATEL, OWNER OF DAAWAT CURRYSERVICES. "GOAT VINDALOO IS SO HARD TO FIND THESE DAYS. YOU CAN CHARGE A PRETTY PENNY FOR IT! IT WILL TAKE A LOT OF RESTORATION WORK BEFORE WE CAN SELL THAT LOT TO HIGHLY PAYING CUSTOMERS. I WONDER IF MARKETING IT AS "DEATH CURRY" WILL HELP?"

"WHATS DISGUSTING IS HOW RAJ PATEL SKIPS THE IMPORTANT ISSUE TO FOCUS ONLY ON HOW HE CAN MAKE MORE PROFIT FROM CURRY" SAYS PETE "ADDICT" BLACK, CURRY WATCHDOG SPOKESMAN. "THAT STUFF IS RARE, IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!" HE CRIES, BEFORE SWINGING FROM A HANDY ROPE TO THE CURRY COPTER TO ESCAPE THE ANGRY HORDES OF DINERS WANTING PREMIUM GOAT VINDALOO.

SO, IS GOAT VINDALOO AS RARE AND AS TASTY AS THEY SAY? I DON'T THINK NED HAS IT ON http://hotteenvindaloos.com/, BUT MAYBE YOU CAN ASK HIM NICELY TO PUT IN A SPECIAL REQUEST!

Currymails are sent on Wednesday mornings to people on the curry list at Catalyst, to encourage people to order a curry for lunch. I wrote this one, sometimes other people will write them. These are completely outrageous and not meant to be taken seriously.